


I'll See You With Your Laughter Lines

by matanee



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, I'm so happy with this fic, M/M, Pining, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, you guys have no idea
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-22
Updated: 2014-07-22
Packaged: 2018-02-09 23:30:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2002233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matanee/pseuds/matanee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve falls in love when he's 12. 85 years must pass until he realizes he's been loved back all along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll See You With Your Laughter Lines

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote it in a few hours and let me just say that I'm insanely proud of it. I just really, really love it. And I rarely say that about anything I write.
> 
> Thanks to Ivana for being an ever so amazing beta! Also, I'm still not a native English speaker so forgive me for any mistakes.
> 
> Enjoy!

Steve is 12 when he first sees Bucky kissing someone.

Bucky is 14 by then, not quite muscley but he has that handsome touch on his face that the young girls can't resist. He can dance, he can play the piano - he could only be better if he could sing as well but no, actually, he cannot sing for his life. His voice is rapidly changing, deepening, and he uses it to his advantage. He sounds like he's much older than he really is, but he's still not allowed into the clubs. Steve is a little bit thankful for that. He looks like he's 6, so he couldn't accompany Bucky to the fancy club he wants to attend so badly. This way, he can stay with him at least, for a little bit longer.

The girl Bucky is kissing wears a polka dot dress and she has her arms thrown around Bucky's neck. She is pretty and tall, almost as tall as Bucky, and she presses herself up against him, one foot in the air - just like in the romantic movies. Bucky rests his hands on her hips but never moves them. It's only their lips that are moving and Steve stares, mesmerized, even though he feels his ears burning. It's not like he's not free to watch: they are in the middle of the street and there are several other kids around them, mostly Bucky's age and Bucky's friends. They are laughing loudly and whistling and some guy buries his elbow deep between Steve's ribs, as if he's expecting Steve to join in. Steve only winces and tears his gaze from Bucky and his girl - his 'sweetheart' as Bucky likes to call his girlfriends -, and he desperately wishes he had his sketchbook on him right now so he could distract himself. Drawing trees or clouds or... whatever.

"She is something, isn't she?" Bucky sits on the bench next to him when his friends and his girl in the polka dot dress are gone and it's only the two of them. It's a warm evening, although not as warm as one would expect New York to be in August, and the orange light of the sun is embracing Bucky like it's his big heroic moment or something equally as cheesy.

Steve forces a smile out of himself and nods, only looking at Bucky quickly before returning to examine his knees with unusual interest.

"Do you take her out dancing?" Steve ignores the bitter taste in his mouth after he says the words. These feelings are brand new, only a few months old - he has yet to figure out how to deal with them. He secretly hopes they would go away, though. They all feel way too threatening for him.

"I'm not allowed in the club, pal," Bucky answers and he's staring at the empty street in front of them.

"But if you stay together until you are?"

Bucky laughs at that and looks down at Steve with kind eyes. Steve blinks innocently.

"Sure. But that's not exactly how it goes."

Steve feels his brows creasing, but Bucky already knows which part Steve doesn't understand.

"Big Billy is 15 and he had six girlfriends already. Only one of them, I think Amelia was her name, stayed with him for longer than two months. The others were all short rounds." Steve would like to think he understands, but, then again, he knows he doesn't. "By the time I'm allowed in the club, my girl will be gone too."

Steve is really confused by now. He doesn't understand why would Bucky say this with such an affectionate smile on his face when what he is saying is obviously nothing to be happy about.

"I see the gears working inside there pretty hard, pal," Bucky laughs as he places his hand on the top of Steve's head and ruffles his hair a little. "Don't just stare, ask."

"It doesn't make any sense. You want her to stay with you for years, don't you?"

"God, no," Bucky laughs again. The weight of his hand on Steve's head is pretty comforting, but it's gone in a few seconds and Steve bites back a disappointed sigh.

"She's really pretty," Steve protests, fixing his eyes on a point on Bucky's chest. It's weird to see hair on Bucky where there never used to be while Steve still feels as bald as a baby's backside. "I think she's the only one who knows my name."

"Of course she is. And if she didn't know, I wouldn't even go out with her." Steve finally looks up at Bucky and the smile there makes his stomach do odd and awful things that usually don't happen, only in Bucky's presence. "But she's just... Not the kind of girl I could imagine marrying."

There it is again, the bitter taste, even though Steve hasn't even spoken the words. It all feels so wrong, so confusing, and he can't seek help from the one person he knows he could ask. Because he is sitting next to him, and he's the very reason Steve feels this odd.

"Who do you imagine marrying?"

The smile on Bucky's face gives away how he expected Steve to ask this question. It looks like talking about this makes Bucky happy and Steve feels a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. If this is the case, it was already worth asking - the bitterness doesn't matter.

"She's gonna have red hair. Red hair, red lips and a face as pretty as Myrna Loy's."

Steve imagines Bucky with Myrna Loy and he starts giggling. When he feels the elbow between his ribs again, he only laughs even more.

  
*

  
Bucky is 18 when he finds his Myrna Loy. Steve thinks she's probably even prettier than Myrna Loy, but he never tells Bucky. Her name is Lorraine, she has wild red hair and long legs and Bucky is madly in love. Steve brings up Bucky's words to him only once, ordering Bucky to break up with her, after all, it's been longer than two months, but Bucky just tackles him to the ground and they keep wrestling and laughing until the neighbours start complaining.

Kissing is not the only thing Steve catches them doing. This time, he really knows he shouldn't stand by, he knows how wrong what he's doing is exactly, but he's frozen to the spot and - hey, no one can blame him, the door was ajar. Probably a mistake on Bucky's side, or he's just being paranoid again that he wouldn't hear Steve's yell if something was wrong.

So Steve stays and watches. He promises he would move on after ten seconds, but the seconds grow longer and longer and the muffled moans and sighs that come from the inside are getting louder and more passionate. Steve only sees Bucky, moving on top of her like a predator, moaning her name and grabbing the headboard. Even in the dim light of the late afternoon, Steve can see his muscles working and his jaw tightening and his eyes falling shut as Bucky drops his head back and faces the ceiling. He is not that 14-year-old boy anymore, even though Steve still doesn't feel like he's more than 8. Bucky is a grown man, and Steve is an idiot for not ignoring the sounds that drew him upstairs in the first place.

He looks down to face his aching erection and that sobers him a little bit. Bucky and Lorraine are moving fast now and Bucky is cursing. Steve chooses this moment to listen to the remnants of his sanity and leave before Bucky could catch him staring.

A few weeks later Steve dozes off on the couch, only to wake up a few minutes later to the sounds of someone throwing up in the stairway outside their flat. He swings his legs over the edge of the couch when the sounds stop and the door opens and Bucky slips to the floor, sobbing miserably.

"Fuck," he moans and, with tears welling in his eyes, he looks up at Steve.

Steve's 16 when he tends to Bucky's first broken heart.

  
*

  
Steve is 18 when he gets his first kiss.

It's nothing sort of extraordinary and, to be quite honest, he is a little disappointed afterwards. He likes the girl who leans forward on the last day of school and presses her lips against his, but the kiss tastes all wrong and it's way too wet. He was taught manners, though, so he only wipes his mouth after the girl runs off. He walks home, not really knowing what to do with the feelings inside his chest, and he opens the door to the flat silently.

"I'm back," he says but his voice sounds odd, even for his own ears. He toes his shoes off and leaves his bag hanging on a nail Bucky beat into the wall. Then, he goes to the kitchen. He can smell food in the air and it leads him to Bucky - in an apron.

"Hey. How was your day?" Bucky asks and there is sunshine in his eyes, kindness in his smile. Steve shakes his head a little and sits at the table.

"I will never get used to that." He points towards the apron and Bucky puts out his tongue at him.

"I got the job at the docks," Bucky changes the subject and Steve thinks it's not possible for him to smile any brighter. He has to swallow the lump in his throat, but he can't stop the heart palpitations he gets whenever he sees that smile. He is a little relieved he can blame it on his weak health whenever Bucky sees his pulse racing on his neck. "I'm starting tomorrow."

"You know, we've been fine in this flat for the last 2 years without you having to work longer hours," Steve tries to engage in this conversation again. He stopped counting how many times they've talked about this, but he needs to keep trying. "You shouldn't-"

"I thought we've been through this, Stevie," Bucky cuts him off but he sounds patient and Steve is a bit surprised. Bucky is usually angry when Steve brings it up. Today must be different for some reason, and that gives Steve a little bit of hope to push further this time. "Mrs. Dorris was a fine landlady and she could be reasoned with, but now that she's gone... Her son is not at all that nice, Stevie. Thank God that you didn't meet him yet."

"But Buck-"

"Also, now that you're out of school, your medications won't be that easy to come by and you will stay at home a lot more, which means more heating during the day."

"Bucky, it doesn't matter-"

"Of course it matters," Bucky laughs but it's strange and hollow and Steve knows that it's pretense. Bucky is almost as bad in lying as Steve. Birds of a feather flock together, after all. "I'm gonna work for that money and we're gonna live like kings. You just see."

Steve wishes he could believe it but he's 18 and he's been dying way too many times for an 18-year-old.

He doesn't tell Bucky about his first kiss.

  
*

  
Steve is 21 when Germany invades Poland. It's also when he is sure he's not gonna live another day.

It's a thunderstorm outside, as if to remind everyone that summer is gone and the fall has come. Bucky had to leave a few blankets tucked under the window so they wouldn't start swimming in rain anytime soon, but he wrapped the rest of the blankets around Steve. Even under multiple layers of wool, Steve feels like freezing and, occasionally, like coughing up a lung. He is violently shivering, he can't see clearly and his hair is stuck to his forehead. He is swimming in sweat, but he knows it's a necessary nuisance.

Bucky was supposed to go to work today, but he hasn't left Steve's side for hours now. He keeps talking when Steve is awake and he keeps changing the cold pack on Steve's forehead when he has another feverish nightmare. Right now, Steve is wide awake and trying to hold himself together, but he's shaking too wildly and not even Bucky's arms can hold him at place.

"Promise me that you won't join the army if I die," Steve mutters, his teeth chattering. He means it but Bucky only laughs. He isn't taking him seriously and he is completely ignoring the possibility that Steve might die. Just like he always does.

"You would wanna deprive me of the joy of killing nazis? You are cruel, Stevie," he answers and sits on the floor next to the bed. He keeps one arm around Steve, just in case, and his face is so close that Steve could count his eyelashes.

"I mean it," Steve forces the words to come out of his mouth but he nearly bites on his tongue, his jaw is shaking so bad. "Find a girl. Another Lorraine. Have children. Live until you have to be put in diapers and you can't remember your own name."

Bucky laughs loudly but Steve knows it doesn't come from his heart. He knows because, whenever Bucky laughs sincerely, Steve wants to live 10 years more only so he could listen to that sound a bit longer. Now, though, he still feels like dying.

"You are so fucking nice to me, Rogers. You want me in diapers? You will have to be the one who changes them. Also, fuck Lorraine. And fuck Myrna Loy, too. I don't need a woman to make me happy. I've got you, pal."

Steve closes his eyes for a second and struggles to hold back the racking cough as he imagines Bucky saying these things to him, driven by the same feelings that tempt Steve to say what he wants to say the most. If he's really going to die tonight, and he has no more medication left so that's a pretty possible outcome, he doesn't want to go without telling Bucky how he feels. And, if a miracle should come and spare his life, damning him to live in this weak joke of a body for a little longer, he can always hide behind the fever. Bucky won't have to deal with it if he doesn't want to, and Steve highly doubts Bucky would ever feel the need to deal with it, so he takes a deep breath and-

Ends up in yet another coughing fit. And this one takes long minutes to fight down. Longer than ever before, and fear numbs them both, especially Bucky.

"Steve, come on, don't do this to me," and Steve could swear he hears begging in that voice. Bucky reaches for the glass of warm water not too far from them but Steve shakes his head and tries to keep his lungs inside his body. His throat hurts so damn much that tears roll down his heated cheeks but Bucky is already there to wipe them away. His cold fingers against Steve's skin feel soothing and, as the coughing finally eases, Steve fights his arms out of the abundance of blankets and reaches for Bucky's hand.

"Bucky," he murmurs but the coughing took away most of his voice and Bucky places a finger on his lips. His smile is weak and terrified, but he keeps it on for Steve's sake. Like he's always had.

"Don't speak. Try to sleep, yes?"

"I don't want to die," Steve tries to squeeze Bucky's hand between his trembling fingers but his muscles are too weak. He's glad Bucky lets him hold his hand - Steve's sure he wouldn't have the strength to reach after him if Bucky pulled it away.

Bucky's adam's apple bobs as he swallows hard, but that's the last thing Steve sees before his eyes slide closed. Bucky's lips are warm and dry when he presses a kiss on Steve's temple and Steve wants to speak but he can only make a soft, humming sound as he pulls Bucky's hand even closer.

"You won't," Bucky murmurs and then there is another kiss, now on his forehead, before Steve loses himself to sleep.

Bucky is fast asleep next to him when Steve wakes up the next morning. It's Steve's turn to press a kiss on Bucky's cheek and the brunet smiles in his sleep.

  
*

  
Steve is 26 in a 93 years old body when he gets to go to the cemetery.

He's sure even Bucky thought Steve would go first, yet, here is Steve in front of a gravestone that says 'James Buchanan Barnes' and '1916-1944'. He thought he would be okay with it, seeing a grave that he knows is empty. He didn't really think it would be surrounded by flowers and letters with _'To Bucky'_ written on the front with a child's handwriting, though, and he feels a lump in his throat because of that. Seeing the Smithsonian was enough to realize that many people looked up to him, to Steve, to the other guys of the Howling Commando, but Steve would've never thought so many people would carry that respect out of the exhibition and bring that to the cemetery. He thought he would find an untended and bare grave, yet, there are people around, staying in a safe distance, waiting until Steve is done before they come and bring flowers. Steve sees them and he feels like smiling but he can't.

People bring their respect here, and Steve brings his pain. Steve brings the bitterness that he felt in his mouth since he was twelve, and he's a coward, he's such a coward for being so late. He had so many chances and he let them all slip through his fingers. He thought 67 years in ice would change how he feels but, if anything, it only intensified everything. The need, the longing, the regrets, the guilt.

Steve swallows and he wishes he could say something, but he knows it would be useless. No one is lying in the ground below his feet, and those who would listen, Steve would rather they don't hear.

He touches the gravestone gently, pretending that its coldness is the same as Bucky's hand's in 1939, but it doesn't curl around his fingers protectively, no matter how long he stands there.

He pulls the coat closer around himself as he leaves to find his bike.

  
*

  
Steve is 30 in a 97 years old body when there is a knock on his door.

Sharon says it must be the pizza and Steve opens it up, only to find a clean shaven ghost in his doorway. His hair is short, his clothes are clean and he has gloves on, with a very expensive looking long coat. He doesn't look like a soldier and Steve blinks, waiting for the mirage to disappear.

It doesn't.

"The pizza guy is stuck in the elevator," he offers as a way of greeting and Steve could swear it was 2015 and he wasn't sickly, skinny Steve Rogers anymore. He would've had heart palpitations, but the Steve he thought he is now... He probably wouldn't. Yet, he does, and it upsets Steve, even though not as much as the figure standing in his doorway. "It might take a while."

Steve invites Bucky in and Sharon insists on leaving. Steve, even in this dazed condition, doesn't forget about his manners and helps her coat on. She struggles into her shoes and somehow manages to fit through the door with her huge belly, pressing a kiss on Steve's cheek before he closes the door behind her.

"She could've stayed. She looked very..." Steve can see that Bucky's looking for words while he takes his coat off. The movement reveals a black, elegant shirt underneath, and the metal arm shines in the light when Bucky removes his gloves. Steve stares, completely dazed, as if he just woke from a dream. He wishes the thoughts in his head at least chased each other but they are simply standing at one place, not moving anywhere. It's annoying. "Pregnant."

Bucky finishes the sentence and Steve looks back at his face, almost surprised. He's been examining Bucky's hand so far, but Bucky either didn't notice or it didn't bother him. Steve knows which case would be true with _Bucky_ , but this Bucky might be completely different.

"Yes, she's uhm... pregnant. You know. She's with child."

The amused smile on Bucky's face reminds Steve that he could just shut up so he does. His heart is still keen on bursting out of his chest, something Steve would love if his superhuman metabolism would soon deal with, especially now that he keeps failing so miserably. Neither of them speak for a while and Steve can feel Bucky's gaze on him. He can't make himself look back, though, he just examines the floor.

He has a wave of déja vu washing over him, but Bucky breaks the silence and Steve jumps a little.

"You look great, Steve."

Hearing his name in Bucky's voice is like being electrocuted and Steve keeps a breath in, drinking in the sight of the man standing in front of him. He looks like _his_ Bucky Barnes, but he looks like so much more than that at the same time. He slowly smiles and Steve lets out the breath, terrified that his heart would stop beating if he withdrew any more oxygen from it.

"You don't ask if she's pregnant from me?"

"Steve-"

"She's not," Steve answers quickly and he wishes he could physically make himself shut up without looking stupid. But, then again, he's already told many stupid things so... What would it matter? "Have you been okay, Buck? Where have you been? It's been a year."

"I remember, Steve."

It comes as a kick in the groin but Steve forces himself to stand straight and look directly at Bucky. He feels like the room could simply explode around them anytime now, the tension is so overwhelming, and he wants to go closer, he wants to touch Bucky and feel his warmth underneath his fingers. He doesn't move, though, he just stands and blinks, once, twice.

"Everything?"

Bucky makes a face.

"Most things," he settles after a moment of thinking. Steve could yell from happiness when Bucky takes a step towards him. _Finally._ "Remember when we accidentally caught Dum Dum jerking himself off in the woods?"

Steve shudders at the memory and Bucky catches it, then, he laughs. It's short but Steve shudders again, out of an entirely different reason.

"That came back first," Bucky stops again, with his hands in his pockets and this is Steve's turn to laugh.

"I hoped you could forget that one."

"Me too."

The tension becomes a bit less unbearable with each second and Steve finds himself smiling, like it's his default expression. Bucky never breaks the eye contact, he just looks back at Steve with such a soft expression that makes Steve's throat narrow.

"Do you want something to drink?" Steve has no idea why does he sound like he's on the verge of tears but, then again, he guesses that he probably is. He sees that Bucky swallows hard, but his expression doesn't change so Steve decides to keep it together for a little bit longer.

"I'm fine, thanks."

"Where are you staying?" Steve takes a deep breath and, in spite of Bucky rejecting the drink, he knows he needs to occupy his hands with something or he's going to do things he would regret later.

He walks to the kitchen and is relieved when he hears Bucky's footsteps behind him. Bucky stops at the doorway and Steve decides to make tea.

"In the Marriott."

"For how long?" Steve picks earl grey and starts boiling the water.

"I don't know."

Steve already has the words on his tongue but he bites them back and drums on the counter lightly. There is silence stretching between them and, from the corner of his eye, he sees that Bucky is walking into the kitchen.

"If you want to say something, now is the time to say it." Bucky's voice is gentle and low and Steve would love to learn how they feel muttered against his lips but he closes his eyes for a second and breathes in instead.

"We've lived together since I can remember," Steve decides to say. He is not ready to accidentally spook Bucky away, to lose him after finally having him back, even if it's only been for 10 minutes. "It's just odd that you are not here all the time, that's all."

"I've been gone for a year."

"I've been feeling like this for a year," Steve says and looks at him. He is bewildered that he didn't notice Bucky coming so close. He is literally in his personal space now, not even an arm's away. He can feel the warmth radiating from his body, and he feels like back in the 30s all over again, back when he needed that warmth so he wouldn't die freezing. Interesting how some things just don't change. "I've been feeling like this since I got this place 4 years ago. I've been feeling like this since the moment you went to kill nazis."

He knows he sounds sharper than he means and, also, way more desperate, but it's way past that line where he could've stopped. If Bucky took one more step, Steve might drop his last guard, he knows that for sure. He's not certain whether he wants that to happen or not. On one hand, it's been a terribly long time since he's been keeping his mouth shut. On the other hand, he knows his secrets filled the hole inside him because they had 'BUCKY' written all over them. If he spills them now, if Bucky decides not to stay, there will be nothing to fill that hole with.

And that might be a fatal blow this time.

"Do you want me to move in?" Bucky asks and it's so quiet, so soft, so careful. It reminds him of the words Bucky used to murmur in his ears when he was shaking with fever, when he cried for his mother after she passed away, when he was sore from lying in bed for what seemed like weeks. The urge to cry is there again and Steve swallows, closing his eyes for a moment.

"I want-" he begins but his voice abruptly cuts off and he presses his lips together. The water is near boiling in the heater but Steve's fingers feel way too numb from pressing the counter too hard to turn it off. "Why are you here, Bucky?"

He really hopes that Bucky won't avoid answering the question, and he also hopes he won't get the wrong impression. He waits patiently for an answer, but Bucky turns the heater off first and replies only afterwards. Steve feels like laughing but he's too damn close to crying for that.

"I never told you why I broke up with Lorraine."

Steve tenses for a moment, not quite understanding why Bucky talks about this now, but Bucky won't let him interrupt. He's smiling a little when Steve looks at him, exactly how he did a lifetime ago.

"I knew you saw us. I noticed you just before you walked away," Bucky starts and Steve feels his entire head growing deep red. If he thought the room could explode from tension, he doesn't know what's going to happen to his head in the next ten seconds. He doesn't really want to know, honestly. "Don't look like that, it's not like you saw me burying a corpse or something."

"It felt like that," Steve mutters but Bucky only laughs out loud. "I was 16."

"Let me finish, punk," Bucky calms down from laughing and Steve feels his heartbeat pick up again at the word. It's really been a lifetime ago since he heard it, and he suddenly finds it really hard to stop staring at Bucky's lips. "I tried to forget it, especially that you seemed like it didn't even happen, but it bugged me. I asked Lorraine if she knew your name."

Bucky and Lorraine have been together for 7 months at that time, but Steve could've counted on one hand how many times he interacted with her. Bucky never forced them to talk, he usually spent time with them seperately, so it wouldn't have surprised Steve if she hadn't known his name.

Now, he just stares at Bucky with his jaw slightly hanging, eyes wide with shock.

"You dumped her because she didn't know my name?"

"I told ya, I would never go out with anyone who doesn't know," Bucky shrugs like it's not a big deal but Steve's really doubting his heart is going to last for much longer. "I thought it was because you were always sick and you had your own business to mind that you didn't notice."

"I didn't notice what?" His voice comes out quiet and at least an octave higher, which is pretty impressive for Captain America, but he seriously doesn't give a flying shit right now.

"That I didn't have a girlfriend after that," Bucky smiles. And then, it hits Steve like a train.

It was _him_. Bucky didn't have a girlfriend because of him. Bucky ended his dream relationship because of him, and he stayed by his side afterwards, cooking for him, looking after him when he was sick, taking multiple jobs whenever he could, all of this for Steve.

All of this for nothing, because Steve didn't see.

"Pal, you gotta keep breathing," Bucky laughs again and the moment he touches Steve's shoulder, oxygen comes rushing in again through lips and nostrils, and all Steve has eyes for is Bucky. _His_ Bucky Barnes, standing right in front of him, after such a painful and long bypass, ready to pick up where they left off.

Steve suddenly feels like he's 16 again with an uncomfortable boner, but this is a different situation. It's more like standing in front of the girl of your dreams and telling her how you feel. And that was never Steve's strong point, so he decides to use a different method.

"Do you love me?"

The words are out of his mouth before he can think twice and the surprise in Bucky's eyes is sobering. Steve decides he won't let it bring him down, though, so he just swallows and keeps his face straight.

"Of course I do, Steve."

"No, Bucky. Do you _love_ me?" This time the words are softer and quieter, the emphasis is on a different word and the surprise is slowly replaced by something else in Bucky's gaze. Steve always thought that was kindness, brotherly affection, caring. It turns out he was right but, then again, he was wrong all along the way.

Bucky's smile is sucking the breath out of him again, then, Bucky nods.

"Yes, I do. I did so many crazy things for you, you are kinda slow catching up-"

Steve remembers his first kiss, how wet and disgusting it was, how wrong it felt immediately afterwards. At that moment, it seemed like a bright idea and, well, he was kissed and not the kisser. Now, he is the kisser, it does seem like a bright idea, and oh boy, it feels better than everything holy.

Bucky's lips open underneath his before Steve has a chance to even cup his face or pull him closer. He feels the metal fingers digging into his hips carefully and, at the same moment, Bucky's tongue is in his mouth, wrapping around Steve's. It's all it takes for Steve to release a moan, one that he's been holding in for too long. Touching Bucky is warm, feeling his right hand in his hair is covering him in goosebumps and feeling his tongue slide across his lower lip is delicious. He tastes all kinds of perfect, and Steve wonders what he would see if he opened one eye right now. Would he see his twelve year old self staring at them openly, wondering what is it like to kiss someone, or to gather the courage to kiss that particular someone? Would he see his older selves, shooting longing glances at Bucky, _his_ Bucky, not knowing that he was theirs all along the way? What would he see?

He opens one eye, just enough to see Bucky doing the same. Then, when Steve freezes, Bucky gently bites on his lower lip and Steve yelps, immediately grinning into Bucky's lips. When he feels the taste of Bucky's words against his mouth, he does feel like a 16-year-old with a boner. Except that he's 30.

"Quit staring, punk," Bucky says. "We have work to do."


End file.
